


Perfect

by blooming_Ednae



Category: Steins;Gate
Genre: F/M, tumblr prompt requests
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-19
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-08-04 12:32:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16346798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blooming_Ednae/pseuds/blooming_Ednae
Summary: Loving him for who he was made her simply this: happy.(for tumblr prompt request, "perfect").





	Perfect

**Author's Note:**

> For tumblr prompt request on the word, "Perfect", requested by goldenharmony and an anonymous user. Enjoy!
> 
> (Also, I am definitely still working on Trade Mistakes, but I'm still slowly transferring all the prompts written from my tumblr to here, so here's a little something until the next chapter of Trade Mistakes is updated!)

As soon as the lab door shut, Kurisu immediately heard movement from the couch. Turning the corner, she noticed he was still there, laying on the couch, his eyes looking just as distant as earlier. She breathed a bit; at least he was attempting to read a magazine to distract himself, somehow.

As she entered the room, she noticed him glance at her quickly before his eyes began to aimlessly read the magazine once more. It was another issue of “Sciency”, featuring a small portion of herself, Maho, and Professor Leskinen. She knew he hated to admit it, but she later found out that he bought it the day it had been released. She shook her head at his antics, knowing she wasn’t any better in any case.

Kurisu walked towards the couch and sat on the floor space between the coffee table and couch, next to him. When he didn’t bother to move his arm, she sighed and took the magazine out of his hand, rolling her eyes as she did so.

“If you’re trying to learn English, this is probably the last thing you should be reading as practice material,” she remarked as she ignored his glare. She turned the magazine over to see what page it was on-

 _Oh._  Her page.

She quickly put the magazine down and finally looked at him, his glare having been diminished into the same blank and distant stare into her eyes as she stared back.

“What’s wrong?”

Okabe blinked and he looked up towards the ceiling, sighing.

“I’m sor-”

“Don’t apologize.”

Okabe looked back towards her and opened his mouth to retort, but she continued before he could.

“Okabe, what you experience now…or what you have experienced isn’t something that’s so easy to accept. The things you saw and the things you still see today are a result of events which have taken its course over time.”

Okabe sighed. “Christina, that’s exactly why I’m saying sorry because those things are events  _I_ caused.”

At the sound of her nickname, Kurisu internally heaved a sigh of relief. It was that alone that made her know he was trying his best in his current situation, despite the struggles he went through daily.

It was a small hope he was hanging on to, but something, nonetheless.

Kurisu nodded in return to his statement. “They may have been events from a result of our indirect doing, but in the end, what you experience as an aftermath isn’t your fault.”

Okabe sat up, and without looking at her, turned so that he could sit at the edge of couch. Kurisu glanced him at his features; they were still as sharp and lean as she always knew them to be, but underneath that mask was a layer of fatigue, filled with past trauma and turmoils.

It was a world she was very much a part of, but not involved in. In a sense, it left her in the open, feeling vulnerable to what is and isn’t, as unscientific as that was in her mind. She was a transparent being in his eyes, an individual so very much loved and admired.

But, as she stared at his eyes, there were multiple times where his confident ego would slip. Unspoken insecurities of being around her, of watching her, and making sure she’s safe were points which she could see. Past his demeanor was an array of emotions he kept to himself, so often reflecting in his eyes for a moment before retaining and hiding them from her once more.

It hurt, she realized. Not just to her, but to know how much he kept to himself, thinking he had to hide them from her. It was a world that he knew that she understood so well, yet kept so closely to himself and away from her perceptive eyes. ‘Hououin Kyouma’ / happy Okabe Rintarou were the aspects which she had grown accustomed to, but everything behind the mask were aspects he kept to himself.

But she wanted to change that. Her eyes longed to see more of him, to be able to read his complicated mind like an open book, and to interpret all the thoughts she knew he couldn’t stop at times. They were a painful mix of raw sadness and pure joy, but they were aspects which she could truly himself.

Uncharacteristically of her, she lightly placed her hand on his, and he didn’t flinch this time, to her relief.   
  
“Okabe…” Kurisu continued, “maybe the nightmares won’t stop. Maybe that emotion of waking up in fear, not knowing where you are, won’t ever go away. But they can be lessened.”

She looked at him, his eyes blank. “The aftermath experiences are not your fault. None of it is. So don’t say sorry to me. Because…”

She breathed a bit before continuing. “I will be here with you no matter what.”

Slowly, golden eyes connected with her amethyst ones, clashing, wordless emotions exchanged with one glance. His eyes showed the same weariness she had become familiar with, but just for a moment, a spark flickered in his eyes as a small smile graced his features.

“As expected from my assistant,” Okabe replied, with a less theatrical voice. He chuckled a bit when Kurisu lightly pushed his shoulder, her cheeks slightly puffed in frustration.

“What’s that supposed to mean? I’m trying to be serious, and you’re just-”

“Joking,” Okabe said immediately. “I’m joking.”

Kurisu stared at him for a moment before smiling. “I know that, idiot.”

Another silence fell over both of them once more, a comfortable peace enveloping them. Kurisu’s hand which had been over Okabe’s for awhile, began to make small circles with her thumb over the back of his hand in a soothing motion, an act that somehow became so comfortable between the two of them, with her not even remembering when she began the motion. He didn’t protest at all as he stared at her hand over his and he found his gaze to be locked with hers once more as soon as his eyes left their hands.

Kurisu noticed it, again. The slight fear that swept in his eyes, the nervous way his brows knitted together, and the silent but heavy emotion felt as she sat near him. There was that insecurity again, and before he could look away and retreat once more, she found herself intertwining her fingers with his, grasping every part of him before he fled from her.

His eyes wavered the moment he realized her grasp tightened around his, her face suddenly a lot closer than where she originally was. Slowly and gently, she found herself kneeling in front of him and bringing her forehead against his, her eyes still locked on his as if she were pulling him back to where he was, grounding him in security.

And it was, in fact, exactly that. She wanted this Okabe Rintarou, to accept and respect him for who he was, the good and the bad, no matter what it was. To her, she found that he was everything she never expected, but everything she wanted. A mutual trust bond between them that eventually grew into something more was an unexpected twist in her life, but something she knew she could very well live with, no matter how crazy, egotistical, and emotional he was. Loving him for who he was made her simply this: happy.

Their eyes had been locked on to each other, she knew. Unspoken emotions were written across their expressions and as she was even closer to him, she could see it:

_I’m broken. I’m imperfect._

_…even so. You’re perfect to me._

For the first time since she had entered, Okabe truly smiled; not a small or slight one that she had often seen, but a genuine smile that lit up the dim atmosphere around them. It reflected on to her eyes and down into her heart, filling with an intensity that no words she could find in herself that she could describe.

And then she realized: she had entered his world, and he let her in. The way he grasped her hand, the way he never let go; these were aspects he knew he needed and it was one step forward for himself and both of them together in their relationship.

She suddenly broke away, much to Okabe’s surprise (and disappointment, might she add as she noticed his expression), when she remembered what she had picked up on her way back to the lab earlier. As she reached into her pocket, she took out two red bracelets, both made of simple material, one decorated with a simple letter charm of “R”, and another with “K”. Flushing a bit as she handed him the bracelet with the “K” charm, she tried to not burst out with a sarcastic comment as he stared at it.

“L-look, it’s not like I wanted us to match or anything, but…I just…” Kurisu took a breath before continuing. “I saw these on the way back to the lab, and I thought it’d be just…a little something. I just…wanted you to have one, I guess.”

As Okabe took the one she offered, lightly running his fingers through the bracelet, he smiled a bit before laughing.

“Was it Mayuri or Yuki that pressured you?”

He immediately regretted asking as she pushed his shoulder again, yelling “Idiot!” at the same time.

“None of them!” she exclaimed, crossing her arms. “I just…” she trailed off, looking off to the side, suddenly at a loss of words. Not knowing what else to do, she suddenly focused on her own bracelet and began to fiddle with it to put it on, failing each time in snapping the clasp closed. She could feel Okabe’s eyes on her as she attempted to put on the bracelet, and just as she was going to give up, he suddenly took her wrist and put it on his lap, a silent yelp coming from her as he did so.

“Assistant, I didn’t raise you to become this clumsy.”

“Well, I didn’t need an audience to be watching me as I put this on,” she retorted back. As soon as the clasp was on, she stared at her own wrist, and then his, as he left his hand on his lap.

Side by side, both bracelets were simple and non-distinct. Disconnected physically, but both were matching in a way that kept them both symbolically connected no matter where they were. It was an emotional connection for them and he ran his other hand through it again, it becoming a piece that grounded him to his current reality. She found herself putting her hand on top of his again, both bracelets grazing each other lightly as she did so; she didn’t miss the faint smile that was on Okabe’s expression once more.

And it was a smile she hadn’t seen in a while; full of love and honesty, but most of all, gratefulness. She didn’t need to hear the words in his mind as she looked at him again, a soft expression placed:

_Thank you._

Before she knew it, she found herself closer to him, but stopped before closing the space between them. Okabe chuckled at her hesitation and he shook his head.

“What, do I have to close my eyes first?”

Kurisu rolled her eyes and she smiled as she came close.

“Not this time.”


End file.
